It was Horrd weekend!

Friday day was well- sucky! The only good thing that happened was that I got an A on my bio lab test and then I got to go babysit. It was sucky for well several reason, on I had to leave the journalism lab early, and yes, I know the reason behind. It was just annyoning because I am trying to finish up all my loose ends for my paper. Oh, well. So I left and went to work on another part of the assignment, so all wasn't lost.

I get back from babysitting and go over to the lab because it is open and I start working out the kinks for my newspaper I have to put togather for my final. Then it started to rain, thundred and lighting.. it got really loud. In the last two years, since I have lived in Arkanas I have never heard it that bad before. Then, there was a a big booom! And it wasn't till later that I found out that it was the sound of lighting hitting a telphone pole causing an electrical fire at Maxwell, they got it under control and nothing caught fire. But when that happened the power went out and then came back on for a bit and then it was off and on all night till Saturday morning when they cut it off all over campus so that they could fix the power.

So that little thing put a damper on my weekend because I needed Friday and Saturday to work on my projects and write my talk for Sunday. So I was behind.

Friday night, the Horsfall basment flooded. And I when I mean floody I mean there was ankle deep water in some parts of the basement. It was was crazy! They had said that the basment has flood before but I never believed them till I saw it happen this weekend.
Saturday suck, because I woke to dark halls, which typically have lights that stay on 24/7 .

I had Lunch in the dark again, for the second time that week. And it wasn't all that good.
About 12:30 p.m. the power finally came back on so I started working on my layout putting text into the paper, I was in the jouralism lab till 1:15 a.m. then came back showered and work on writing my talk. Which my talk didnt go as well as planned and it was poorly organizied and it was just bad. I could have done better. I know I had all week to prepare but, I never got the chance to or really made time to work on it, I just kept putting it off.

And now, its Sunday, I am waiting till 2 p.m. so that I can go to the libary and finish writing my papers on MS word 2007 and I just seem to work better there sometimes. And maybe even make way back to journalism lab to do some more editing. And I gotta find another picture of a weevil.. ode to joy.

I have my bio final Wednesday and I am SOOOO stress I can't take it.

I am very upset right now, because I don't think I will ever get married, to tell you the truth I don't believe it. I can't. And even I do, I don't think anyone would give a rats behind about it.
I am running on very little sleep, I am stressed, I am upset and crying and my life sucks! I miss Derek, I miss all the plans that we were making and how empty my life feels.

Mother's day coming up. I hate that holiday with a passion. I want to be honored. But I am not a mother, and I never will be. I don't feel that I will every be honored, like that.

Heck, out of the three guys that I have dated, one truelly did that for me the best he could , but then he died. They others tried and the other one still working on it.

Why is everything soo hard. I am soo tried of trying.. I want all these rightous desires that I am never going to have and things that I am never going to have.

And sometimes I feel like people just don't understand I think I am going to take Sarah's idea and become a hermit. Then I could hide and get out everyones way and they would not have to deal with me.