Sunday, April 27, 2008

It was Horrd weekend!

Friday day was well- sucky! The only good thing that happened was that I got an A on my bio lab test and then I got to go babysit. It was sucky for well several reason, on I had to leave the journalism lab early, and yes, I know the reason behind. It was just annyoning because I am trying to finish up all my loose ends for my paper. Oh, well. So I left and went to work on another part of the assignment, so all wasn't lost.

I get back from babysitting and go over to the lab because it is open and I start working out the kinks for my newspaper I have to put togather for my final. Then it started to rain, thundred and lighting.. it got really loud. In the last two years, since I have lived in Arkanas I have never heard it that bad before. Then, there was a a big booom! And it wasn't till later that I found out that it was the sound of lighting hitting a telphone pole causing an electrical fire at Maxwell, they got it under control and nothing caught fire. But when that happened the power went out and then came back on for a bit and then it was off and on all night till Saturday morning when they cut it off all over campus so that they could fix the power.

So that little thing put a damper on my weekend because I needed Friday and Saturday to work on my projects and write my talk for Sunday. So I was behind.

Friday night, the Horsfall basment flooded. And I when I mean floody I mean there was ankle deep water in some parts of the basement. It was was crazy! They had said that the basment has flood before but I never believed them till I saw it happen this weekend.
Saturday suck, because I woke to dark halls, which typically have lights that stay on 24/7 .

I had Lunch in the dark again, for the second time that week. And it wasn't all that good.
About 12:30 p.m. the power finally came back on so I started working on my layout putting text into the paper, I was in the jouralism lab till 1:15 a.m. then came back showered and work on writing my talk. Which my talk didnt go as well as planned and it was poorly organizied and it was just bad. I could have done better. I know I had all week to prepare but, I never got the chance to or really made time to work on it, I just kept putting it off.

And now, its Sunday, I am waiting till 2 p.m. so that I can go to the libary and finish writing my papers on MS word 2007 and I just seem to work better there sometimes. And maybe even make way back to journalism lab to do some more editing. And I gotta find another picture of a weevil.. ode to joy.

I have my bio final Wednesday and I am SOOOO stress I can't take it.

I am very upset right now, because I don't think I will ever get married, to tell you the truth I don't believe it. I can't. And even I do, I don't think anyone would give a rats behind about it.
I am running on very little sleep, I am stressed, I am upset and crying and my life sucks! I miss Derek, I miss all the plans that we were making and how empty my life feels.

Mother's day coming up. I hate that holiday with a passion. I want to be honored. But I am not a mother, and I never will be. I don't feel that I will every be honored, like that.

Heck, out of the three guys that I have dated, one truelly did that for me the best he could , but then he died. They others tried and the other one still working on it.

Why is everything soo hard. I am soo tried of trying.. I want all these rightous desires that I am never going to have and things that I am never going to have.

And sometimes I feel like people just don't understand I think I am going to take Sarah's idea and become a hermit. Then I could hide and get out everyones way and they would not have to deal with me.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Why Me? It's just not fair!

Why me its just not fair!

I show up to meetings, I do my part, but yet, I didnt get voted in. I know maybe there is some reason why I didn't get SGA secretary. I will still go to the meetings, still goes on with life. Maybe, the Lord has some reason why I didn't get that postion.

I tried out for mascot, I had a skit planned out and I had a blast doing it. I thought it went pretty well. I didnt get it. I wanted becasue I thought it would be fun and something really cool to do. I will still go to football games, well the home games, and yet again life still goes on. Maybe, the
Lord has some reason why I didn't get to be mascot.

I've applied for two other things on campus this past semester and I didnt get it. Why me?

Derek, died and for a long time i thought I would never find love again. Then I meet Arthur, and him and are doing great. And having Arthur is a blessing in my life.

But the pain of Derek's death is still with me. And there is still the strong feeling of believing that I will actually get married. To me it still some stupied fairy tell, not ment for me.

My sister got her learners, yeah I am happy her but, makes me a litte belittled because, I am 22 and I don't even have my driver liceneses. It's not fair.

Life is not fair. Yes, I have always know these, but is not fair. For once, I want something postive in my life, something good for me. I want the spot light for once.

Yeah, I am getting my assoicates this spring and my parents, sister and my grandparents are coming, but still. Woopie, its a graduation. No big deal.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Get Your Facts Straight!

In the recent news of the nation the main story is about the events in Texas with the Fundalimentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. First I must make something VERY CLEAR they are in no means associated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, (better no as the Mormons). The FLDS are NOT Mormons, despit what the mass media is trying to say. To learn more about the churches stances on this please go to this link:

LDS church no longer practices polygamy, it was practice for around 50 years in the 1800's. But is no longer in practice. At the time it was, members of the church were being kick out of their homes at gun point, their husbends tar and feathered.(not reality to polygamy). It was put into practice when they went to Utah, at that time in history women had no rights and they had to get to Utah and that is why it was done. If you wish to learn more on this subject please go to the following link

The main reason for blog this evening is due to someone's comment about an editoral written by someone at my college. That Article can be found here:, comments about this story can be found here: I was greatly offend at the comment that was made in comment to the annyomus person' choice of use of sites. The person claimed that the site is not always accurate. I beg to differ. I know with out a shout of a doubt that is the most accurate information about the LDS religion and our belifs and practices. Every good journalist knows that Wikipiedia is not a place to go for accurate information. In my mind he had no right what so ever to say that, the site is not accurate. And I am hurt that he would say something like that. He stated that he could prove it, but I know that is not possible.

Living in the south is hard enough being LDS, but at the same time, its worth every second of it because there are so many chances to share the gospel and to set the example. I wish that when people wanted to know about the LDS faith that they would actually go to someone who is a memeber, ask a missionary, or go to the chruches website.

I love my faith and I would not change it for the life of me, I would die for my faith. I am proud to be a memeber of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is who I am and what makes me me. I wish people would think before they act.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Another Death Yet To Come.... and a story about Alan Jackson!

So, my aunt in GA calls me and tells me that my great-grandmother took another turn for the worst. I was basically told that she was going to die this week. The hospice nurse said that her organ systems are shuting down. My great-grandma(mawma) is not eatting or drinking. When she is awake she very agitated(sp?) when she is awake and she apperently is calling my Uncle, pawpa, which is what she called her dad. She 98 years old and she lost her husband in January of 2000, I think* Shes lived a long good life and its her time.

I am okay with her death... well I say that right now.. we will have to see when I get the final word about it. But apperently my family in Texas is making the trip to GA to attend the funeral and my sister Lindesy wants to sing at it. My Uncle in Texas as alreaedy made the trip their... me I am at school I have a busy next few weeks to worry about with school, finals, and getting my associates... I've got like 4 weeks of school left. Can't mess up now...

But this does lead me to bring up of something of interest to me: it seems like every semeseter I have had to deal with some crisis in my own life just about every semester since I have been here. Yes, I can handle it and it will make me a better person in the end, but I can't help but wonder is all....

So when my mom was a teenager in high school her and her best friend went on vaction with Alan Jackon before he became famous. My mom's best friend Lisa, ran in to KJ( my mom's sister) at the grocery store and told her this. Yet, she has no memory of this little adventure. She thought it was another Alan.. but it was the real AJ. They all grew up in the town of Newton, Georgia. And apperently they had dinner togather.... Oh, brother.. I think I need a break from life... anyone wanna go with me?