Well, it's spring break 2008! At my friends, Jasmine and Pam, came with me to Dallas! It's been a lot of fun! And was a great road trip! Of, course it was a 6.5 hour car trip! but it was a lot of fun!
Anyways, I have been taking lots of pictures. Sunday, we went to the Dallas Arbutruim(or how ever in the heck that it is spelled). There were lots of tupiles(a type of flower) there. It was a Texas theme. It really has been a great spring break!
Today, it is raining, not just raining but, monsooning! I don't think I have seen this much rain since I left Arkanasa, right now, my socks and shoes are shoak!
Last year at spring break, Derek came and saw me. We had soo much fun togather! I miss him greatly. Yesterday, the 17th was the last day, I saw him a live, the last day I kissed him, the last day that I hugged him. And watch him, walk through the airport checkpoint. I kinda felt that would be the last time I would see him, but because I was in love, annyorgied that feeling. Which, leads me to my next point: it may sound harsh and mean. But, it is frankly how I feel. I hate happy couples and all of their bliss! (I should make myself clear, I don't hate them all, just some)
Why? because I wanted that so much in my life. I want to get married, I want to have the enteral happiness. I had it with Derek, and then he died! The pain of his death, hurts me soooo much. No one can really uncerstand the type of pain that I feel. It's like waking up and realizing that you have to go on by yourself. That, the person you love soo much is no longer there. There are times, I wish all the pain and hurt would simple just go away and that I wouldn't be in this pain any more, but that is not possible, becaue then that means I would have to stop loving them. And I can never stop loving Derek.
People tell, me oh, you will get married don't worry about it. But, to them, this is what I say:
When? and Prove it! Prove to me that I will gt married! And when I mean this, before I am 30! For thos math geeks out there thats 8 years away! I wanna be loved again(i know I have a boyfriend) I wanna to have some put there arms around me and hold me. I miss Derek, I miss him... why is hard for some people to see that?
Yes, P and J, I am okay.. I just needed to rant!
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